Guides

How to document abuse for a protective order

Every state runs protective orders its own way. This page is about the part that is the same everywhere: keeping a clear, dated record of what happened, so you can show it.

Write it down while it is fresh

Keep one incident log. NNEDV’s Safety Net Project lists what to put in each entry, including “The date and time” and “The location”, the police officer if you reported it, any witnesses, and what the other person did.¹

Save it, even when you want to delete it

A threatening message is hard to look at. NNEDV’s advice: “While it may be tempting to delete it, saving it could show patterns.”¹

Photograph injuries and damage

• The Hotline says to document “any injuries, no matter how small (with photos if possible).”²
• If things were thrown or broken, “describe the scene and take photos of the damage.”²

Keep the messages and calls

• Screenshot threatening texts and emails. On a printout of an email or call log, the Hotline says to make sure it “includes the sender, recipient, date, and time.”²
• If the calls keep coming, “Let it go to voicemail once and save the voicemail.”³
• Be careful: NNEDV warns that some messaging apps “notify the other person if you take a screenshot”. Photographing the screen with a second device is one way around that.¹

Keep it where they can’t get to it

The Hotline suggests places like a separate email address used only for this, a backup drive, or copies with “a trusted family member or friend.”² If documenting would put you in danger, your safety comes first.

Then put it in order

A pile of screenshots is hard for anyone to follow. One list, in date order, every item numbered, with a line saying what each one shows, is easier for you, an advocate, a lawyer or a judge to read.